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Pregnancy depression…what?? Surely you feel that pregnancy glow? You’re thrilled? Completely in love with the little one you’re growing inside? Sadly not! Hollywood, and social media would have us believe that from the moment we find out we are pregnant, we will be filled with utter joy and excitement, and will love every moment of carrying a life, even through the nausea, tiredness, and constant weeing. For some fortunate people, that is the reality of pregnancy. They glow, they embrace their changing body, and they wear pregnancy well. However, for others, this picture of love hearts and rainbows could not be further from the truth. In this blog I want to talk about “Ante-natal depression.” Yes, you did read that right…ANTE-natal depression, not POST-natal depression. The kind of depression that sets in during pregnancy, not after birth. The kind of depression that is not just low mood, or being a bit fed up because you feel a bit crap. This is hard core, debilitating, full mental shut down, depression which sets in when you become pregnant! Never heard of it? Neither had I until I experienced it…twice! I have no personal history of mental illness, have no family history of depression, and my babies were both very much wanted and planned. Yet there I was, living in a big black cloud with no idea what was going on. Hello antenatal depression! Studies differ in suggested prevalence rates, but generally the statistic of how many people are affected by it, falls somewhere between the 5 – 15%. Let’s call it 1 in 10 for ease of maths. That’s a lot of pregnant people walking around pretending everything’s fine, feeling too scared or ashamed to speak out and admit they are hating life. Antenatal depression receives disproportionately less attention in research and interventions compared to post-natal depression, and undoubtedly the statistic is higher than 5-15%, as many people will be powering through without reporting it. Hence why so many people have never heard of it! Feeling a bit low is kind of expected during pregnancy, but persistent very low mood, changes in appetite and sleep patterns, difficulty coping with life, extreme anxiety, emotional detachment, irritability, and feelings of hopelessness…are more than just normal pregnancy feelings. Depression symptoms can arise at any stage of pregnancy, and can go as quickly as they come. In both my pregnancies I experienced this up until about weeks 15 - 16. Diagnosis is complex due to many of the symptoms overlapping with typical pregnancy experiences, such as feeling tired and sleeping badly. However, feelings of not wanting to live anymore, or not wanting your baby (despite them being absolutely planned), indicate something more serious is going on and you should get professional help. There are various treatment options which can help with the symptoms of antenatal depression, but it’s important to try and identify what has triggered it, to choose what’s right for you. In my cases, I was having a “reaction” to the change in progesterone levels in my body during the first trimester. Some people apparently just don’t handle progesterone particularly well (it would explain why I was angry and numb on the mini-pill years ago!) I was one of the lucky ones, knowing it would pass once my hormone levels changed again as the pregnancy progressed. But it did mean that aside from medication, which I chose not to take, there weren’t really any other treatment options available, aside from holistic approaches. Tapping anyone? (Google it, it was fab!) While not always preventable, early intervention and awareness of risk factors can mitigate the impact antenatal depression has, emphasizing the importance of seeking help as soon as you realise you need it. Studies suggest that with appropriate treatment, most people do experience improvements in symptoms. In my case, it just went with time, and fortunately, my post-natal experience was unaffected.

Busting common myths around hypnobirthing for pregnant people about this birth preparation method.

What yoga practises can help in the first trimester or early pregnancy and what to avoid

Christmas stress with a baby? Find some tips for calm and zen from a baby yoga teacher and mum.

Matrescence is a transition – the transition into becoming a mother. The physical, psychological and emotional changes you go through after the birth of your child. A pretty big change in life eh? But it is rarely discussed or considered as much as birth or the practicalities of looking after a baby. Maybe we think about the “postnatal recovery” in a physical sense, but what about the new mother’s identity? Some things I read compare matrescence to adolescence, with the hormonal fluctuations, changes in body and identify. However the fact that spellcheck approves this and not “matrescence” is telling. Becoming a mother is a process that starts during pregnancy, when hormones are on a rollercoaster, and your body physically changes. We are bonding with our baby and getting used to this new role, but often the focus is on birth and practicalities of life. Perhaps we are thinking things will go “back to normal” when the baby arrives. However know that motherhood is a permanent change. Once we become a mother we are always a mother. Accepting that life is ever changing and embracing a “new normal” can help with adjusting. Along with rejecting the “bounce back” culture when it comes to the physical body or the things we used to do. Your amazing body has spent nine months growing a baby, and it will forever remember this. Even those people who look like they have “snapped back” into their old clothes, hobbies etc, will be changed as a person. This is both a wonderful and challenging time. Some of the words mums in my postnatal yoga classes have used to describe it: wonderful, scary amazing, pure, joyful, tiring, rewarding, special, transformative, natural, blissful, stressful, love, worry, strength, exhaustion. Notice the contrasts! Even if you are loving new motherhood it is important to give yourself time and space to adjust. Just like we give babies grace to adjust to the world with many cuddles, skin to skin, responding to their every need, so should be give ourselves that grace. A mother has been born too. The shift into a new role can take us by surprise, especially if we think that things were going to stay the same. The pace of life can slow down (babies feed and sleep on you a lot at the start!) new responsibility and roles. This can be a positive thing. Naomi Stadlen in “What Mothers Do” draws on the experiences of mothers over many years. She writes of women finding they suddenly enjoy the beauty of a gravel path. But this change of pace might take getting used to, and it can be frustrating. Things that used to take 2 minutes now take lots of planning and 20 minutes e.g. getting out of the house (I know!)! Having a support network of mum friends can help you to see that it’s not just you. When social roles change you might find that the friendships you had before shift, which can be isolating. At just the time when you are too exhausted to go out and meet new people! So, joining a local baby group can help you to find a new community. Whether through organised groups such as pre or postnatal yoga, local charity meet ups through Facebook or apps. WhatsApp groups were a lifesaver when my children were born, especially number 2 in lockdown. This community also helps when the changes are ongoing. Each new phase that babies go through requires another transition for parents. Take sleeping for example. Maybe you get used to them sleeping on you. Then one day they start sleeping on their own. You might feel wonderfully free whilst lost at the same time. Some of these changes happen gradually, others are more sudden. Starting nursery, preschool or school is a big adjustment, not just for the children but for their caregivers. (Personally one I have struggled with recently!) So what can we do to help ourselves? As a mum and yoga student and teacher, I must share with you the ways yoga can help in this time. Yoga can help in easing this transition as we recognise that everything is subject to change and flow. Not just the physical poses (asana). Learning some breathing techniques can help parents, babies and children to find, and keep, calm. There are many useful breathing techniques, a simple one I used was Inhale,2,3,4 and exhale,2,3,4 when feeding my baby. Telling the body to relax on the exhale helps to keep you calm and promotes good hormones no matter how you are feeding your baby. In yoga classes you might hear about “letting go” and with matrescene we must let go of the old normal and of old identities. Checking in with how we are is also helpful. Yoga teachers guide this in classes, but you can do it throughout the day for yourself. “The Supermum Myth” explores the different emotions new mothers may feel such as guilt, anxiety, anger and hate and encourage women to notice these feelings, as emotions have a purpose to communicate and motivate. The relaxation and mediation aspects of yoga maybe more spontaneous now and may need to fit around babies, but they are so are important. The body and mind need to rest, particularly when you are tired. If it is difficult to achieve adequate sleep, practising shavasana can be really beneficial to renew energy. Learning to keep in calm control is very helpful with little ones, so that we can respond calmly and compassionately. Summary of ideas to help: · Finding your own identify in motherhood, not trying to “bounce back” to the “old you” but finding yourself as you are now. · Accepting change as the new constant. · That might mean new or different interests, it might mean revisiting old ones. · Taking up a new hobby or challenge. e.g. running, yoga can help but not essential. · Learning breathing tools to keep calm · Check in with emotions and listen to what they have to say. · Practise relaxation and/or meditation · Talk to other mums. · Seek out support from those around you. Matrescence can be overwhelming but with awareness and realistic expectations it can be the best thing in your life. However, if you do find this change in life particularly stressful, that you have having intrusive thoughts and/or feel helpless, do ask for professional help. Through your GP, Health Visitor or charities such as the Samaritans. I am in now way linked to the authors of the books mentioned. Amber teaches Pregnancy Yoga, Baby and Postnatal Yoga in Norwich, Norfolk. See www.yogawithamber.co.uk for more information.

Tips for making yoga part of routine

Yoga is often cited as a good activity to do when you fall pregnant. It is much more than an exercise class though, there are multiple benefits to practising yoga during pregnancy. If you are unsure if it is for you, why not read on to find out more. I have been pregnant twice and enjoyed both regular yoga classes and specific “Pregnancy Yoga”. In fact I found the reason I kept going was different to the reason I first attended classes in Norwich! Prenatal classes tailor the yoga to the needs during pregnancy, both physical and mental. It is such a special yet often challenging time to navigate so being with a trained teacher is really valuable. Prenatal Yoga can help with pregnancy common aches and pains by drawing attention to good posture. Focusing on good alignment of the body through the physical yoga poses can improve or prevent common problems such as back and shoulder ache. Problems such as Pelvic Girdle Pain can be eased with the right choice of asana. The teacher will also know about contradictions, that is postures that should be avoided during pregnancy or with certain prenatal conditions. For example, we would avoid back bends and deep twists. The postures practised can help to strengthen the body as your baby grows and improve flexibility in a safe way, being mindful of the hormone relaxin. You may know that yoga can help with managing anxiety and emotions. Pregnancy is a time where hormones rollercoaster and emotions are all over the place. Taking time to be present with the movement and breath can help to calm the mind and provide space for dealing with change. The body awareness gained through yoga can help adapt to a changing body. Being at a Pregnancy Yoga class also means that you are not alone in going through these feelings. You will meet other expectant mumas, who might be in your area, and start to build a community. It is lovely to share the experience with others going through it too, the highs and the lows. The friendships I made with my first baby are still really important to me. ZenMuma classes include a segment for a check in with everyone and a chat. Pregnancy Yoga gives you a chance to connect with your growing baby. In our busy lives with work, older children and other commitments, mums often whiz through the day without noticing their baby! This time gives you time to be aware of them, and the teacher may even plan time into the class for this bonding. Birth preparation is another element of Pregnancy Yoga. Classes can help you to prepare for birth, both mentally and physically. The postures included in lessons help to develop strength and flexibility in the legs which is useful for a vaginal birth. Other movements can be used within labour, or “active birth”, such as hip circles and lunges. Breathing techniques can be a wonderful positive focus during contractions. Practising relaxation can also help you to keep calm during your baby’s birth. Some teachers will make this explicit, others will weave them seamlessly into lessons. Taking time to relax is another benefit of pregnancy yoga. You get to lay down and rest! The class finishes with a guided relaxation, or yoga nidra, which will help your body to rest. This is so important for you and your baby, and if you are struggling to sleep at night then spending time in an adapted shavasana helps to restore you. As you can see there is so much to gain from yoga during pregnancy, that it has a wide appeal. The physical side is suitable for all, except in a few cases where bed rest has been medically prescribed. Other conditions can be adapted for by a trained teacher. The mental benefits of relaxation and community will also be beneficial for people for different reasons. All ages and backgrounds are welcome in my classes. You might find like me that why you enjoy Pregnancy Yoga is not the same reason you started! I went to stay fit during pregnancy, but ended up making great friends and finding time to relax. I hope that you are inspired to try Pregnancy Yoga near you! Amber teaches welcoming Pregnancy Yoga, Hypnobirthing, Baby and Postnatal Yoga and Children’s Yoga in Norwich, Norfolk and on Zoom. You can follow her on Instagram and Facebook @zenmumaamber , email her on amber@zenmuma.co.uk or see her website www.yogawithamber.co.uk

As parents we want the best for our children. How can making yoga part of our family life benefit our children’s physical development? As a yoga teacher, parent and former school teacher I’d like to explain why yoga is good for their motor skills. The development of motor-skills in children is fundamental for many skills in life. When they are properly developed, they allow our muscles, brain and central nervous system to work together to perform tasks such as kicking a ball or writing. It is amazing how in just one year babies change from having total dependence and no control over their body, to walking or even running, being able to coordinate their bodies with increasing precision. Children need the opportunities to develop their motor skills through exploring their environment and the senses. They need regular practise of this to continue to progress. Unfortunately however, there is a growing trend for a more sedentary lifestyle, even amongst young children. Hanscome (2016) discusses this and the problems it causes in detail in ‘Balanced and Barefoot’. “More and more children are having difficulty with attention skills, controlling emotions balance decreased strength and endurance, increased aggression and weakened immune systems.” (p.8) Experienced teachers noticed a slow decline in children’s gross and fine motor skills. Core strength decreased, and stamina for active play reduced. Hanscome attributes this decline to the reduction of opportunities for children’s different sensory experiences, challenging themselves and activating their large muscle groups. There are many issues here but we will focus on motor skills and how yoga is beneficial. Motor skills encompasses both gross motor skills, such as balance, core stability and coordination, as well as fine motor skills, such as hand eye coordination, dexterity and bilateral skills. These work together in daily life, for example to get dressed we need both fine and gross motor skills. Gross motor skills refers to large or whole body movements. Weak gross motor skills can lead to problems in sitting upright and poor coordination, which is seen in schools with children’s poor posture. As babies develop their early gross motor skills such as holding their head up and learning to sit and crawl, they lay the foundations for the more complex motor skills later on. Through yoga we can continue to develop these skills in children. For example, if children have not crawled, they have missed the opportunity to strengthen the arms and shoulder girdle. Therefore we can provide opportunities to strengthen this when they are older. Weight bearing such as through cobra, plank and upward dog can help here. As can tummy time in ‘mindful moments’. Tummy time is good for children of any age, and indeed adults! Core stability is important for motor skills as it “provides stability for the spine and allows a good alignment and fluid movement.” (Hanscome, 2016:35-36). Unfortunately this is underdeveloped in many children. It encompasses the outer core, the abdominals, which is what we usually think of, but also the inner core, which incorporates the muscles around the hips, pelvic floor, diaphragm and spine. As ZenKids says, “A child’s core stability is central to nearly every activity as it provides the essential stability and balance needed to coordinate and control the legs, arms, head and hands.” Poor core stability can lead to poor posture as children do not have the strength to sit upright and thus slump. They can also be seen as disruptive as they find it hard to sit still. But there are remedies to help. We can develop core stability through yoga by practising numerous asana, such as plank (and its variations), chair, and bridge. We would encourage strong use of the muscles for good positioning, for example in plank asking ‘Are you a plank of wood?’ tapping into children’s imagination and visualisation. Some postures can be a challenge to hold, so we can provide help provide a focus, such as with chair making fun hand movements. Core stability is also needed for coordination. Gross motor coordination is “the ability to repeatedly execute a sequence of movements with accuracy and precision.” (Hanscome, 2016:40). Children with poor coordination may also have poor proprioceptive skills, which is to sense what parts of the body are doing without looking at them. Proprioception is developed through pushes and pulls with resistance, also called “heavy work”. In relation to yoga we can push and pull with a friend, and perform weight bearing asana such as downward facing dog and dolphin plank. It is good practice to perform asana on both sides of the body, to aid in coordination and equal strengthening. So a posture such as cow face should be done on both sides. Coordination and balance can also be affected by how busy our minds are (Hoffman, 2018). When we are calm and alert we can process and organise our senses. But when we have ‘sensory disorganization’ we are overloaded and react with the fight or flight response (Hanscome, 2016). Yoga can children to clear their mind and focus on their bodies. Crossing the midline is also linked to core and early development. If children fall over when they cross the midline then we could work on this. Postures that cross the midline include half moon and eagle. In mountain we could get children to meet their elbow to their opposite knee, or on all fours bring their knee to the opposite elbow. Reaching across to a partner in twists or to pass an object around the sharing circle could also help. Also important is the vestibular system, which is the awareness of body in space. In order to develop this, children need “frequent opportunities to move – especially activities that go against gravity,” (Hanscombe, 2016:49). Being upside down and spinning gives input to the inner ear, which helps to establish children’s core. So opportunities in yoga for spinning, individually in games or in a ‘helicopter’, and inversions such as downward facing dog can be beneficial. Balancing in poses such as half-moon and tree can also develop this awareness. Fine motor skills are equally important. These involve coordinating hand, finger and eye movements and begins with reaching and grasping as babies. Through these foundations children come to more complex coordination that allows independence. If they have limited opportunities then they will not have the chance to develop in this way, for example they may have problems with handwriting because these basics have been missed. More therapists are seeing problems with using the eye muscles together, such as in tracking objects across a room (Hanscome, 2016). In children’s yoga we can have fun with the hands to develop control, for example making crocodile or bird hands, or robot arms. We could also do a hand ‘mexican wave’ with one finger at a time. We can also develop this through the choice of mindful moments such as tracking bubbles. Hand strength in particular has reduced with the increasing use of computers and tablets. Children are playing less with construction toys, digging and clay, so do not have the same exposure to ‘restrictive’ fine motor skills. This makes most fine motor skills challenging, and if children find skills such as doing a zip or building Lego too difficult, they will not want to do them, this further reducing their chance to practise. Yoga can promote confidence and self-belief, which can counteract this and encourage children to ‘give it a go’. Positive affirmations such as “Yes I can!” can be great. Physically we can practice hand mudras such as seal, lotus and bollywood hands. Crane posture is also good for hand strength. Shoulder girdle strength is also vital for fine motor skills, “as this group of muscles provide the foundations for the more refined movements of the fingers and hands.” (ZenKids). Without this, children will find many fine motor tasks very challenging which affects their independent skills such as dressing and using cutlery. We can develop the shoulder girdle in yoga through warm ups such as the scarf dance, and through multiple asana, such as bow, warrior I and extended puppy. Fine motor coordination is when these fine motor skills can be used in more complex and dexterous ways. For instance playing and instrument or using tools. By working on the above practices we can also develop the coordination of the fine motor skills. Therefore there are many ways in which yoga can help both gross and motor skills. Through providing these opportunities we are enabling children to have greater confidence in their bodies and independence as they grow. I teach Family Yoga in Norwich and Children's Yoga classes in schools, please contact hello@yogawithamber.co.uk for more info Further Reading Hanscome, Angela J, 2016, Balanced and Barefoot, New Harbinger Publications, Oakland Hatch, Amber, 2017, Mindfulness for Parents, 2017, Watkins, London. Hoffman, Susannah, 2018, Yoga for Kids, Dorling Kindersley Ltd, London Iyengar, B.K.S, 2015, Light on Yoga: the Definitive Guide to Yoga Practice , HarperThorsons, London Kinder, Wynne, 2019, Calm: Mindfulness for Kids, Dorling Kindersley Ltd, London Markham, Dr Laura, Calm Parents, Happy Siblings: How to stop the fighting and raise friends for life, 2015, Vermillion, London https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/exercise/physical-activity-guidelines-children-and-young-people/

Have you ever gone to check your baby or child is still breathing? Multiple times? Hand up! Certainly the first time we leave them to sleep alone, and I still do when my children are ill. When we become a mother, this wonderful thing happens - oxytocin floods the system. It helps us to bond with our babies and love them unconditionally (oxytocin is called the birth or love hormone). Yet is also has the side effect that we see more danger in our baby’s world, which can lead to anxiety. Some of these dangers are very real and we are prompted into action (the useful side of worry). For example the risk and knowledge of SIDS leads us to keep babies in the same room as us to sleep. The very real danger of traffic means we teach our children road safety. Yet some of the “dangers” are our mind working overtime, which with limited sleep and rest time can easily spiral. I have been caught in the trap of being over reliant on a sleep schedule and stressing over tomorrow if I don’t get them to nap NOW! Another biggie is worrying about what other people think. Some of us are more prone to this than others, but we will all have had some anxiety that in hindsight was not helpful. What CAN help us to ease this anxiety and to be a happier and calmer parent is yoga. Here are a few suggestions. 1. Breathing – we know from lots of research that focus on the breath calms the nervous system and keeps us in the “rest and digest” state, meaning our bodies can work in good health. Specific techniques that can help include lengthening the exhale – this stimulates the vague nerve that tells our body that we are okay. Try counting the inhale and exhale and making the exhale slightly longer. I also like to count in for 4 then out for 4 with the word “relax” used instead of the numbers on the outbreath. 2. Movement – moving the body through yoga postures (asana) helps to ease anxiety for several reasons. It gives our racing mind a positive focus, what to do next with our body. It can be a “moving meditation” as we flow with the breath. We also know movement releases feelgood hormones such as endorphins (think the “runner’s high”). Moving the body also burns through adrenaline and any excess energy which helps to prepare us for meditation or relaxation. If you’ve ever felt tired but unable to sit still you know what I mean. A little gentle yoga movement can help in this instance. Try a cat-cow, a downward facing dog to reset the focus, or even some Sun Salutations if you feel up to it. If you have recently given birth it is best to check with a qualified teacher or your midwife before beginning anything new. 3. Relaxation - when the body is in “fight or flight” mode our muscles tense up, ready to run or hide. Most of the threats we face aren’t things we can physically run from, so we keep this in our bodies in the form of tight shoulders, hip flexors etc. By practising muscle relaxation we can learn to soften these areas. Resting the mind is important too. If we can find time for a guided relaxation or yoga nidra we may find ourselves more refreshed and with more energy to face the day with patience and a calm mind. Try lying down for 5 to 20 minutes and focus on the breath or listen to a recording to help keep the mind focused. 4. Mindfulness – mindfulness involves the practise of being in the present moment. Whether that is taking a walk, washing the dishes, or feeding your baby. Focus on the here and now, not the “what next” or “what if?” that our human brain is hard wired to do. It can help us to find joy and restfulness in the little things. For instance when feeding your baby enjoy this time to be still, rather than mentally planning, or looking a screen. 5. Awareness – As we become more aware of the thought patterns then we can put a stop to them. Yoga teaches us self awareness so we are more likely to notice the negative and spiralling thoughts. We can then apply one the above tools to reset. Finally, be kind to yourself. When you do notice the anxiety building remember it is natural and normal. It is gradual process to become more mindful of as we notice and address this, with the help of those around us. However, if you find that it is becoming too overwhelming to cope with day to day demands and the strategies above aren’t helping, I strongly suggest that you reach out for help from your GP, Health Visitor or a local mental health charity. This article is in no way meant to give more pressure to already busy mums. I hope this helps parents with babies and children to find a little calm in their lives. Amber teaches Pregnancy Yoga, Postnatal Yoga, Mum and Baby Yoga and Children’s Yoga in Norwich. Contact her on hello@yogawithamber.co.uk